Thoughts 3.24.22

I’m not sure if I subscribe to the philosophical premise of karma. Jesus taught the principle of sowing and reaping. That which you plant in life will eventually grow into the very thing you planted. I always took this in a positive light. As you serve others, or give away what you have, or do good; those actions, behaviors and characteristics are seeds that will one day reap better things. Generosity to others begets generosity from others. Kindness to those around you allows kindness ten fold from those around you.

What I haven’t spent much time thinking on, and for good reason, is what happens when what you plant is poor seed. When you choose selfishness over selflessness or make the decision to prioritize what you want over what you feel called to do… are those bad seeds? And do bad seeds always grow into bad fruit? These questions are tough for me if I am being honest. For most of my life I have lived in a way that I was graced to more often than not to plant the “good” seeds. My life so far has mostly been a garden of the beautiful fruits once planted. Yet the last season of my life I have focused on myself more than others. I, with the best of intentions, have pursued my wants and desires, and at the end of the day prioritized myself over the expectations and concerns of those around me. Confusingly, this is celebrated by so many. And I, still unsure of what is “right”, am anxious to discover if I have planted bad seeds. Whether if my lack of generosity, my focus on myself, or my priorities in life have born sour fruit. Is the parable of sowing and reaping applicable to both ends of the spectrum? I’m afraid I don’t have an answer to the question in my heart today, as much as I wish I did. Life teaches us in real time. Theory is taught through stories, but the trueness of life is taught through experience. Do we need to know the answer of this question to make a decision to plant good seed? Right now I would say, yes, for the precursor question remains… what is good seed? For if we desire to reap good fruit, the seed from which it grows is foundational to the entire question. Lord, grace me with your wisdom to discern. For only through you will I find a path through this maze of existence.